Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hello, you beautiful soul!

I see you! I see how you feel like you are not enough again! I see how you feel like you are not ready for this! I see how you feel like you are faking all of this, and I thank you for it!

Thank you for trying to keep me safe. Thank you for everything you have done in the past. Thank you for protecting me from the world and from myself, so that I could heal.

I have healed. I am not done healing — but are we ever truly done? I have done the work to be where I am now, and it is thanks to you. It is thanks to the fighter. It is thanks to the part of me that always had to be strong. You always had to protect, to stand in between, and to keep me safe, even from myself. You had to control everything to ensure my safety. You had to control how much of the emotions you let go, so it wouldn’t be too much, and you had to move fast to protect me from wrong decisions. You had to keep me in the dark because you knew you could not protect me from everything that is out there.

Well, my sweet and strong fighter, you are done. You are not alone anymore. You are not watching all on your own anymore. You do not have to man the wall all night. You do not have to hold everything together on your own anymore.

I am here with you now. I am here by your side, taking your hand, and we don’t have to fight anymore.

At ease, soldier.

We are standing together now. We make decisions together now. We have a council, and we want you to be part of it — because you have earned it. You have earned the right to rest, and to make decisions out of peace, not survival. You have served me so well, and I am so grateful, and I would like to honour that now.

I would like to honour your work and your sacrifices by giving you a space to feel loved and at home. The war is over, and you are safe now. We are allowed to be seen, because you have done your work so well that others have learned from you, and we can stand steadfast together.

We still have a way to go, but we will walk the path together.

Thank you for standing by my side and advising me. Thank you for giving me the knowledge you have gained over the last 30 years. Thank you for always being my greatest weapon, even when I didn’t realise that I had you.
But I don’t want you to be a weapon anymore. I want you to be a shield. You can be a shield.
And if you don’t know how yet, that’s fine. We will work through it together.
Just like you have helped every other part of me — my inner child, my inner teenager, my ego — it’s your turn now.
I stand here as a whole, stretching out my hand to you, asking you to take it, so that we can walk together.

I can’t wait to see what we are able to achieve when we work together instead of alone.

With lots of love and patience,
Me.