Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hello my Lovely,

You’re only little. You don’t know what’s coming yet… and honestly, I wish I could protect you, but I can’t. I wasn’t strong enough when all the battles happened, and now it’s too late. I cannot change the past.

I wish I could have protected you, but like I said, I wasn’t strong enough, and that is okay, because I was a child and I wasn’t supposed to be strong enough. I know I protected you when it really mattered, and that’s all there is to it.

Why am I writing to you today?
Well, my Sweetness, I am writing to you today because I wanted to tell you that we have won the war.

Along the way, you will have many battles to fight, and you will lose more than you will win, and even when you win, it will feel like losing in the moment.

The people who were supposed to protect you couldn’t.
The people who were supposed to keep you safe caused you harm, and with it, they distorted your whole reality and took your soul. They left behind an empty shell that they could use.

I am not angry at them.
I grieve what you have lost, and I will probably always carry that grief with me, but I can live with it.
I know that there will always be a part of me that I cannot reclaim, because it is not mine to claim. It was yours.
So that part of me will probably be lost forever, but I know you are safe now, and that I have become the person you would feel safe with.
Maybe, in a way, we can one day find that piece together.
I will be here if that day should come.

I do, however, believe that this part of me is not meant to be found, or perhaps cannot be found. But that’s okay, because I carry you with me.

The reason I really wanted to write to you today is to tell you that I know the people in your life — the ones who did not teach you what you needed to know, will win a lot of battles.
They will leave you on the ground, bleeding, gasping for air, and broken, and they will laugh while walking away.
It will feel like you are dying every day, for years.
Death will become a companion because he will feel safe — like you could take his hand at any moment.

But you won’t.
Not just because you are strong, and not just because you are resilient.
But because you are amazing.

And in the end, even though you may have lost almost every battle, you will win the war.

You will win the war because you don’t just survive. You thrive! You take all the dark and hurt and pain, and you turn it into something beautiful.
You turn into a safe space for others.
You become the light that is needed in this world.

Are you perfect? Definitely not.
You will make mistakes, and you will accidentally hurt people.
You still have a lot to learn… but considering everything you have gone through, what you have experienced, and what you have endured:

You are a safe space.
You are a light.
You are enough.

Lots of love,
Me