Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hello,

So today appears to be the day I talk about my experience with psychosis. This is not an easy topic for me. It was a very scary time in my life, and honestly, I still don’t quite understand what happened or remember everything that did.

This takes a lot of courage to talk about, but I’ll try my best.

What did psychosis feel like to me?
It felt like I was on top of the world. It felt like I could do anything, and nothing would ever hold me back. My mind was racing full speed while holding the clutch down. It was going a thousand miles per hour but not moving.

I believed I could travel through time. I believed things would just magically appear. I believed I was everywhere all at once.

I did dangerous things. And looking back… the only explanation that makes any sense is this: a part of me was trying to get help, because somewhere deep down, I knew something wasn’t right.

After three days of intense illusions and sleep deprivation, some police officers finally realised this was more than (I think) drugs. A doctor confirmed I needed to go to hospital, and I was admitted into psychiatry, where they diagnosed psychosis.

Why talk about this?
Because some illnesses can’t be dealt with alone. Psychosis is not something you try to heal by “trying harder.” It often shows up because you’ve been trying too hard. And then you need people who force you to slow down.

For me, that came through medication for the first time in my life. It worked. And after about three days, I was able to stop taking it.

I don’t think psychosis was trying to protect me. I think I lost the connection between body and mind. My mind had nothing left to hold onto, no ground to move against. It was like a car revving its wheels mid-air. The tyres were spinning, but there was no road beneath them.

So, how do you heal psychosis?
Quite simply: you don’t isolate yourself. You seek professional help.

I’ve walked most of my healing path alone, and I believe that was right for me. I do believe in the body’s ability to heal itself. But psychosis is different. When you’re in it, you need anchors. You need people to help keep your feet on the ground.

And when things begin to settle, then you can decide what healing looks like. But during, you need help. And therapy is often the best place to begin.

When I feel my consciousness slipping or reality getting fuzzy, I go back to basics: sleep, rest, food, movement. Anything that reconnects me with my body.

One last thing, if I may.
As tempting as it is to quantum-leap your way out of trauma or to be so spiritually “evolved” that you don’t have to feel things anymore: it doesn’t work.

It may look good for a while. You might even manifest everything you want. But it won’t last. Because there’s no foundation to land on.

Your body is your foundation. Everything outside of your conscious mind is your grounding. So please, invest in it. Feel your feelings. Let them move through you.

A mind without a body is yin without yang. It doesn’t work.

And it goes both ways. A body without a mind is just as lost.

I don’t know why I felt the need to write about psychosis today. I’m not even sure if this post will help anyone.

But that’s the beauty of this blog. It’s mine. And I get to write what I want.

So here it is. And thank you for reading.

With love,
Me