Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hello You,

I am scared. I feel like everything is falling apart, and I am desperately trying to hold on to the pieces to keep them in place. It feels like everything I’ve built, everything I’ve worked for, is breaking away. It feels like the world around me is crumbling.

I know that it has to, because how can I make space for something new when I am holding on to how it is?

But it’s scary. It hurts, and it’s so uncomfortable. I don’t know if I want this. I want to hold on to what I know, and I want to stay here. I want to know that I am safe. I want to know what’s coming next. I want to know that I can predict an outcome. I want to know how things will turn out.

If I go this path with you, if I let go of everything I know, then I won’t have that. I won’t know what’s coming next. I won’t be able to brace for what will happen.

I feel you wanting to jump in and tell me it’s going to be fine, and I am grateful that you’re not doing it. Thank you for letting me be scared and for letting me voice my thoughts.

This isn’t easy for me, but I know that it’s the best thing for me. I just don’t feel ready yet. I don’t feel ready for embracing the unknown. How do I know that I will be okay? How do I know that I will have everything I need? How do I know that I will be able to care for myself?

I need to know that you will be there for me. And I don’t have that trust in you yet.

Me