Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey my sweetness,

I have to apologise to you! I think I may have broken something that wasn’t meant to break as fast as it did.

I honestly believe that he was not meant to be in your life forever. He was a great person but just not the person for you.

I think you could have learned how to be truly loved in a romantic way for a while. What healthy love is supposed to look like. I think it was meant to last a little longer than it did, and I am sorry for that. I am sorry that I took it away from you before its time.

I was so focused on finding all the reasons that showed why he did not love me, that I couldn’t enjoy the reasons that showed how he did.

I was so focused on not making a mistake again, that I didn’t allow myself to truly enjoy being seen and maybe even loved.

I was so scared of being hurt again, that I became the very person to hurt you.

I was so scared of being rejected for who I was, that I became someone who needed to be rejected.

In the end, the reasons why it didn’t work out would always have been the same ones. I just wish I could have given you more time to truly be appreciated in a way that you deserve. In a way that you have never seen.

I know my mistake now, and next time, I promise you, I’ll look for the reasons that prove that he loves me. I will trust myself more, and I will be more open to being okay with not being okay.

We have grown a lot in the last year, and we are not the same person anymore. Still, I am truly sorry for what I did.

Lots of love,
Me