Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey my lovely,

So… we’re losing people left, right, and centre, and the next big thing is probably coming in September.

I am so extremely proud of you, and today showed me how far you’ve come.

First of all, I’m proud because you’re losing people, and it hurts, but you’re not dwelling on it. You’re okay with losing them because you know it’s better this way. You’re okay with people leaving because it feels like it gives you more space to breathe. You’ve grieved every loss so deeply because each one felt like a betrayal. To get to a point where you’re sitting here thinking, “Yeah, it hurts, and it’s sad, but I know it means change is coming”? That’s impressive. I’m honestly in awe of the person you’ve become.

Someone said today that you can’t learn to deal with the fear of loss when you’re not in a relationship. But this situation, losing three important people in three weeks, proves that’s not true.

You’ve walked alone for five years now. You’ve gone through everything without parents, without a partner, without family, and sometimes without friends. And you’ve made it to a point where it’s okay to lose people because it’s the natural course of things. You’re not numb to the pain, but you don’t fear the loss either.

You’re okay with being alone.

And that’s something I truly thought I’d never reach. Until five years ago, I was always in a partnership. I always had friends. I always had someone to help carry my burdens. I’d get triggered if I spent even a day without texting a loved one. So to go from that… to this? Awe-inspiring.

That’s why I’m proud of you. But I also want to tell you why I’m impressed by you.

Today, we spoke to someone who used every manipulation tactic in the book to get a reaction from you. And you? You laughed. Literally. You laughed in their face and said, “I have no idea what you’re doing, but it’s not working.”

You didn’t even realise you were being manipulated. You didn’t overthink it in the moment.

But reflecting on it, I saw it all: gaslighting, love-bombing, guilt trips. And you didn’t react to any of it. When they lied, you brought facts. When they tried to tell you what you did wrong, you said, “I’m not that person anymore.” When they tried to guilt-trip you, you called them out.

You don’t need a fighter anymore because you’re not even playing the game.

While others are playing checkers, you’re reading a book. You’re not even at the table.

They use tactics to get what they want. You use integrity and honesty.

That’s what makes you amazing. You don’t even have to fight—because you’re not playing. And I think that’s exactly why you are who you are.

That’s why I love you.

Me