Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hello my Lovely,

I’m sorry that I haven’t talked to you in a while. I had a lot going on in my life and I honestly didn’t know what to say to you. I have been letting go of a lot of things and people, and I am still not done yet. I sometimes don’t even know what I am letting go of. Sometimes I just feel the need to cry and I don’t even know why I feel like life just hit me with a truck.

So I guess what I am saying is: I couldn’t talk to you because I didn’t know what to say or even how to start.

So what has changed? Well, I talked to a friend the other day and she helped me gain some clarity. She also showed me how well you are doing. She showed me how much you have grown and how amazing you are.

I talked to her about the goal I set myself for September and how I am scared of not being able to make it or how I am just imagining that it is possible.

She told me that I was already working on achieving it. And as we talked, I realised: it doesn’t matter if what we want to happen actually happens, because I am actively working towards that goal. I am actively showing myself that I am worth it, because I am not sabotaging it.

My goal: visit Scotland. I tried it last year and it didn’t work because I didn’t get my passport, I didn’t save money, and I didn’t feel safe enough to travel alone.

This year is different. I ordered my passport, I have saved up some money, and I am scared—but I don’t let it paralyse me.

I already know exactly where I want to go and when. I just don’t know how I will travel.

But the thing is, even if I don’t actually make it because of different things, I will know that it wasn’t my fault. I will know that I did my best, and if nothing stops me, then I will be able to go this year.

If everything works out, then I will fulfil a dream I had for years.

And that is the true achievement. Knowing that I was able to fulfil a dream without sabotaging it.

I am amazed at how much you have grown within just one year! Thank you for still being here!

Lots of love
Me