Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey you,

Are you trying to reward me for letting you behave in ways I don’t condone? I have let you run away and hide for the past few weeks. I have taken it easy. I haven’t pushed and I let you do whatever you wanted. Usually I would have tried to fix and I would have tried to become better but I didn’t because I felt like you needed a time out. In my last post I was allowed to call you lovely for the first time. Now that I put the thing away that you really wanted to do, to be able to do something I really wanted to do, you refuse care and love from me.

Do you think that the only way you are shown love is by letting you do whatever you want to do? Do you think the only way to show that someone truly cares about you is by letting you do whatever you want without thinking about the other person’s needs?

Sweetheart, that’s not how it works. That’s not unconditional love. That’s abuse. Expecting someone to give up who they are just to make you happy is harmful to the other person. True love means accepting the other person as they are and just enjoying their company. It means wanting to get to know the other person to be able to enjoy them more fully.

Allowing people into your life and being allowed into people’s lives is like going to a Michelin restaurant. You wouldn’t expect them to change the menu for you or even the meals. The only thing you’d change is if you are allergic to something. People are there to be enjoyed, not used.

I get why you wouldn’t know or understand the difference. And honestly it hurts to know that we were treated in a way that made us think it was normal to use people to become more of ourselves. To use people to be able to enjoy ourselves. To feel important only if someone is willing to sacrifice themselves for us.

But do you really want to live that way? Do you really want to sacrifice people for your enjoyment? Do you want to sacrifice your own future to be able to have fun for one hour longer?

I’m sorry that I didn’t see it before. I am sorry for also believing that it was normal. But it’s not. You don’t have to let people walk all over you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to walk all over people.

Let’s find out together who you are and who you want to be, so that you know how far you can go and let people go.

I am sorry for not understanding sooner.

Lots of love,

Me