Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey you,

You know when you watch those shows that just hit the spot… I had one of those today and I wasn’t even expecting it. It kind of came out of nowhere and pressed every button I forgot I even had.

What if I’m not good enough? I know I am not good enough. But that’s my own fault. I keep moving the goalpost. Every time I am about to get it, I decide it’s not what I want.

How am I ever supposed to feel like I am enough when I can’t even reach my goals? I know I am working on it and I have decided that I won’t set any new goals until I’ve reached the next one. And I already know how I can fulfil a lifelong dream of travelling.

But the show today showed me the life I really want to live and it made it seem so attainable that I feel, in a way, stupid for not having reached it…

In the closing episode it showed me the life I want, and that the person in the show was able to reach it even though they were in a very similar position to me. I guess that made me feel even worse because it made me question what I am even doing.

What am I doing?

What life do I really want to live?

Have I truly decided on one that I want, or one that I think I should want?

What do I truly want?

We already realised that deciding on a path creates more freedom than wanting to do everything. So we need to decide. What is the goal?

When you look back at your life when you are on your deathbed, what will you want to look back on?

Is it the life you have been imagining the last few months or is it something else? Or is it maybe a mixture of both? Is there maybe a possibility of combining the two?

I need you to get specific, because the goal you have had until now is fine to get started… but it isn’t enough to use as a guide when you feel lost.

So please find out what you want so that we can start working towards it. You don’t need to know now, but one day you will have to make that choice, otherwise you will be in your late 80s and feel stupid for not having done what you really wanted to do.

I don’t want you to regret having lived. I want you to be happy.

Lots of love

Me