Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey you,

I did it! I finally went to Scotland! I finally went to the place that I have been dreaming about for years. For decades! I went and fulfilled my dream of walking along the edge of a cliff next to the sea. Not only that, but I also saw the most beautiful scenery that I could have ever imagined. It was more beautiful and breathtaking than I had ever dreamed. I was not only able to walk along the top of a cliff but also follow a beautiful little path along the bottom and side of it.

I have always dreamed of walking along such a path that would lead me somewhere even more beautiful and it did. Not only was I able to see the most stunning seafront, with water smashing against rocks and grass covering the cliffs by the sea, but it also led me to a secluded beach that felt like it was only there for me. A whole beach that was visited only by me. A beach within those cliffs, with sand so soft every step engulfed my feet. Sand so white and water so blue it could have been a scene from Spain or Portugal.

This trip healed the part of me that always thought this was not meant for me. It healed the part of me that always thought others were meant to see these beautiful things while I was just supposed to admire them from afar. It healed the part of me that thought I could never find such a place.

Not only did it show me that I am able to find such a place, but that I am also allowed to experience it. I am allowed to see things like that and experience them to the fullest. I am allowed to feel in awe of nature and be completely intimidated by the raw power of the world around us. I am allowed to see the world in its immense beauty. I am allowed to witness things that bring me to tears through their magnificence.

I learned that I am someone who is able to hold this and appreciate it as it is meant to be appreciated. This means that I am a person big enough to be able to see this and know what it means. I am whole enough to be this person.

I have always waited for my life to begin. I always thought, “When I have a partner, I can start doing this and that and be who I want to be.”

But that’s not true. I don’t have to wait for that. I already am. I am that person. I am the person who can travel. I am the person who can make decisions. I am the person who is lucky.

I truly believe that I am lucky after this trip, and I have grown to trust my intuition more. My intuition has helped me so much on this trip. It has helped me make things possible that I never would have thought possible before. It has helped me fulfil my dream, and it has helped me find my way through this challenge.

I wanted to challenge myself more, and this has really helped. I was forced out of my comfort zone, and I had to meet people. I don’t know if this has changed anything for me in a big way yet, but it has definitely changed me.

I no longer feel the need to wait anymore. I don’t feel like I have to wait for the right moment because the right moment is when I am sure. When I am sure that this is what I want to do, then it is the right time. If I am sure about what I want to do, then everything else will work itself out. I just need to start walking in that direction.

It also showed me that sometimes it’s not about the goal but the step. I took a walk in Scotland that ended up being 15 km long. I have never walked so much in my entire life… The thing is it was a lot like life. When I started that walk, I only knew the direction I was going in. I didn’t know what I would see or where I would end up. My first goal was just going to a shop to get some food and drinks so I had something along the way. Then my goal was just finding the right path to the cliffs. Then my goal was just walking to the next scenery.

I kept setting new goals and just admiring where I was when I reached each one I had set. I didn’t set the next goal until I had admired the one I had already reached. Only when I reached the point where I couldn’t walk along that path anymore did I stop and check how far I had gone. I had walked 8 km. I have never walked 8 km in one go ever.

The thing is I didn’t even notice. I was just enjoying the journey. So when I reached the end, my new goal was going “home.” Setting that goal and knowing exactly where I was going to end up and exactly where the end was made the journey after that point excruciating. It made it unbearable.

I felt every step, and everything started aching. I started to concentrate on how far I still had to go instead of concentrating on everything I had already seen and what I could still see. I only focused on all the things that were stopping me from reaching my goal.

What I am taking with me is this: I want to set goals that I can see. Just like my journey, I don’t want to set goals so far away that I feel the ache of every step. I want to set goals that are attainable, and honestly, I don’t really care about where I end up because, just like that trip, I know that it will be amazing. It will be amazing because every step I take will lead me to something even more beautiful.

Maybe life is about the journey we take and not about the things that we reach.

I want to live a life that allows me to enjoy the journey and maybe this is the start.

I have made it out of having to survive every day, and now I want to start living life to the fullest.

So I guess my next goal is finding out what that even means to me and then starting to live it.

I am just realising that my blog is called Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing, and in the end… the thing that truly healed me was a path. Kinda funny.

So I guess this blog won’t be about healing anymore… but about living. At least that’s what I want it to be. We’ll see how it works out, and I can’t wait to see where this new path will lead me.

There is one thing that I am truly certain about, though, and it’s this: I can’t wait to take you along on the ride with me!

Lots of love,
Me