Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey you,

I am frustrated right now because I feel like the perfect partner is never going to find me and I am just wasting time on everything. I feel like everything I do is useless because it hasn’t led me to him yet.

Why am I even bothering? Why am I even trying? It’s not like anyone will ever look at me and think, “Oh my god! I have been waiting for you!”
I’m not pretty enough. I am not ambitious enough. I don’t have my life together enough. I am not enough for anyone to look at me and think, “YES! YOU!”

Why am I even being so delusional and letting myself believe that could happen for me? Why am I saving my time and self for that person? There is no guarantee that he will show up. There is no guarantee that he will find me. There is no guarantee for anything. So why am I holding on to a fantasy that hasn’t even been promised to me?

Why do I believe that I would be so lucky as to find someone who truly cherishes me and loves me?

Has there ever been evidence for this? Has there ever been evidence of someone truly loving me?

I am just sitting here, refusing to leave the house, expecting my dream guy to knock on the door?

Why on earth would I believe that I could be someone who walks into a room and gets attention? Why would I believe that I would be like a glowing lightbulb to someone?

If it were true, wouldn’t that have happened already? Do you even know how many things have to align to find that one person? Do you truly believe that you are that special?

I don’t need an answer right now… I just really needed to vent those thoughts.

We’ll talk about it another time. Right now I just really need to feel this.

Lots of love,
Me