Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey me,

So… I met someone… There goes the “40 Years” plan…

I’m used to overthinking it. Usually I try to figure out if this person is my person, and if we will be together forever, and if I’d want to marry him.

This time it’s different. I am able to hold myself in the present and ask myself if I am enjoying his company right now. I am asking myself, “Am I able to choose me while having this person in my life?”

I notice that I try to analyse things he says and does to protect myself, and honestly, I think that’s just natural, especially with a past where someone had to protect themselves.

I try to view it as realistic while being optimistic, because as long as I am OK and comfortable, it’s OK, right?

As long as I don’t feel like I have to sacrifice something, it is OK to enjoy it.

I am also realising, while writing this, that I trust myself enough to enjoy this. I know that I will be able to make a cut if I feel like it’s taking something away from me or that I am being pushed into a situation that I don’t feel comfortable with.

I am actually really proud of myself right now. I trust myself enough to be able to just enjoy the beauty that life wants to provide for me.

Maybe 2026 will be the Year of Greed for me. A year where I will be able to enjoy as much as possible without having to worry.

That would be so amazing. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

Lots of love

Me