Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey me,

I am actually annoyed at me right now.

Why do I always feel like a failure when things are starting to change? Why do I always feel like the worst person? Why do I always think I am not enough?

Is it because I haven’t proven myself to be enough yet?

I don’t mean in the way of having to suffer or having to carry a burden. I mean: have I not shown myself yet that I can trust myself with this new responsibility?

Why have I never thought of this before?

Of course I can’t feel like I am enough. Everything I have had until now has been hard-won, or I have proven that I can maintain it. I have not had the chance to build trust within myself with the new things I am gaining.

So it should be only natural to question oneself with new responsibilities and new experiences.

How am I supposed to trust myself if I haven’t had a chance to prove that I will be okay if something happens?

It’s like wanting to trust a partner but never allowing them to prove that they are trustworthy.

I have to give myself a chance to build that trust. I cannot just expect it. Even if I know that I will be okay, I have to show up for myself and show myself that I am reliable.

Trust isn’t a magic wand. It’s a muscle, and it needs to be trained.

So cut yourself some slack.

You have always been able to prove yourself to yourself, and this time won’t be any different!

You just have to give yourself time and opportunity to grow.

I know I’ll do it. I have always done that!

Fingers crossed!

Me