Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey me,

I feel like I have to talk about this “everything is awesome” hype that people call “toxic positivity”.

I feel like calling it “toxic positivity” is like saying “healthy negativity”, yet no one seems to say that. Why do we not see that when something can be toxic even though it’s “good”, something can be healthy even though it’s “bad”?

Why are we so focused on always doing the right thing and being good, and forget that there are always two sides to something?

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about healing and the “aftermaths”. I feel like most blogs, vlogs, and coaches only talk about all the great things that healing does and how it’s so awesome, and all the positive feelings that you should have.

It feels a little like a religion to me. “Be like this, feel like this, and do this. If that’s not how you react, then there is something wrong with you.”

But that’s not how it works. For me, healing doesn’t mean “everything is rainbows and butterflies”. For me, healing means “I am able to handle the positive and the negative, and I define what my feelings mean to me.”

Good isn’t always positive and bad isn’t always negative.

Crying isn’t always because of sadness, and laughing isn’t always because of happiness.

Being sad can be freeing, and being happy can feel like a cage.

Healing is being able to handle the nuances and living with positive and negative simultaneously.

I am sad about the fact that people are not taught this. I am disappointed in us as humans that we are taught that you are only “healthy” when you are happy all the time.

Well, I get why we might think this. Being depressed feels like being sad all the time, so obviously being healthy would mean being happy all the time. But imagine being happy all the time, no matter what you do. I would describe that more like “losing your marbles”.

Healing means being neutral most of the time and being able to reach emotions easily and release them fast.

“Normal” emotions aren’t supposed to last longer than 90 seconds in your body. They are not supposed to affect you for longer than 90 seconds.

Emotions are there to make mundane things exciting. They are not there to be felt all the time.

Imagine loving chocolate and having to eat it 24/7. You’d hate it at some point.

It’s the same with emotions.

So I am proud of you for being able to just be neutral. Not sad. Not happy. Just there.

I think that is the hardest thing to reach in this life, and you are not just able to be there but actually enjoy that peace.

That neutral feeling is peace. It’s not emptiness. It’s peace.

I finally have a word for it.

Go me!

Lots of love

me.