Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey me,

I am actually so grateful for the person that I have in my life right now. He doesn’t judge me for patterns that are unhealthy and encourages me in ways I may not have thought about myself.

I knew that if I ever entered another relationship, I would have old patterns that would surface, and they are. They are surfacing in ways I honestly didn’t anticipate.

I am presenting toxic behaviours that I thought I had dealt with, and I am having difficulty holding up boundaries that I didn’t know I had to develop. I have to teach my nervous system that it is safe again and have to be careful with the advice that I get from the internet and social media.

I am also noticing that I have to let go of some expectations and judgments because they are harming the dynamic that we have built. Things that used to protect me when I was single are now harmful to the healthy dynamic that I have with my partner.

Things that he does to get to know me or to make me happy look like things that other people complain about. The thing is, I am comparing him to the standard of other people and couples that have been together for years…

I am also noticing that some of the advice given about dating isn’t advice that I want to take on, because it sets expectations that need to be fulfilled instead of letting the other person show who they are and then deciding if that is something I want.

I am honestly just very glad that I am allowed to be with a person right now who gives me the space and grace to see who I am and wants to grow with me.

Lots of love

Me