Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing

Hey me,

The good thing about living my whole life sabotaging myself? I know how to sabotage things without being the one who looks guilty.

But did I really sabotage this, or did I just make a decision and it turned in my favour?

But then again, if I start something with an expectation, it usually ends up the way I expected it to. Especially with people. I know that the mindset with which we approach people can shift their way of reacting to us. So did I enter the situation with a mindset and expectation, or did it happen naturally?

Did I manipulate the situation, or was I just emotionally intelligent?

Did I have a hunch that turned out to be true, or did I create the outcome?

How much power over my life, my reality, and my situations do I really have?

Does it even matter if I sabotaged or manipulated the situation?

I wanted something and I got it without having to say it, while also getting my hunch confirmed. Shouldn’t that be enough?

What would it mean to sabotage the situation? Sabotaging it would have meant that I wanted it and my subconscious did everything it could to ruin it because it was scared of it.

Was I scared of the situation? Yes, but I wasn’t scared of what would happen. I was scared of not being able to end it. I knew that the situation that I was in wasn’t what I wanted and that if I were to stay and keep going for the next few years, then I would be very unhappy and might even miss the right situation.

So I didn’t sabotage it, did I? I made sure that I got out of a situation that wasn’t for me.

I made sure that I was doing what was best for me.

I could have ended the situation differently. I probably would have if I had the chance to.

All I really did was not soften my words, to let them be interpreted in any way they are not meant to be.

I also didn’t know about that person’s insecurities. If I wanted to, I could have probably guessed… but I didn’t know, so I didn’t really manipulate either. I was honest and didn’t hide my meaning.

I am not a bad person.

I did the right thing for me, and that is ok.

It is sometimes better to hurt somebody’s feelings with the truth than let time pass and hurt them more with a lie.

I did the right thing.

No. I did the honest thing, and that’s enough.

Thank you for taking care of yourself!

Lots of love

Me