Hey you,
A part of me feels like this path is done. I feel like I have reached the end of this way and like I don’t really have to carry on here.
It’s weird because for one year I wrote multiple times a week and now there’s nothing left to say.
What do you say to your past self when you have reached a point where you don’t identify with that version anymore? What do you say to a version of yourself that you don’t recognise as your own anymore? What do you say to the one who held all the trauma and survived every hardship so that you can live… love?
I don’t feel like I am abandoning you. I don’t feel like I am leaving you to the wolf. I feel like I am giving you the rest that you deserve. I feel like it’s finally time for you to go and just be. I am letting you go with the knowledge that nothing can hurt you anymore. We have created a world for ourselves where we have loving and understanding people and where we can actually see the people that truly love and accept us.
We have created a world for ourselves where we focus more on the positive than the negative, because we don’t need to prepare for a war anymore. We are allowed to be soft and open because there is no immediate danger. The people in our life want the best for us and we are able to make decisions based on intuition… not survival.
So tell me… how am I supposed to write these letters when I feel like there is nothing left to say… There is only experience left. There is only living left.
I am so grateful for having been allowed to walk this way and for being allowed to move through the past two years in the way I did. It led me to where I am now.
A life where I have stable mental health, a healthy relationship with people around me and a loving relationship with myself.
Even when I am thrown into something completely new or something extremely familiar, I am able to see clearly and it’s because of my letters to myself.
So thank you for this. Thank you for being by my side.
Lots of love
Me
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