My Wrongdoings
Hey me, I think it’s my turn to talk about my time as a Jehovah’s Witness. Maybe the reason I haven’t really done that yet is because I know what consequences it could have for me… Leaving the community meant losing everyone and everything I knew. I wasn’t allowed to be in contact with family…
No Explanation
Hey me, I just realised what kind of privilege it is to be able to say, “I will start the new year without a plan or goal.” How amazing it is that I trust myself enough to be able to say, “One year is just to see how far I have come and to see…
Preparing for Me
Hey me, I am looking around and I am asking myself, “How did I earn the privilege to live this life and experience me?” Does that sound too conceited? What I mean is: how am I allowed to experience myself as such a lively and happy person? How am I allowed to experience myself as…
One More Day
Hey me, Thank you for surviving. I know I have had some posts about this, but today I am just so grateful. Not just for surviving because you made it, but also because of the life that I am allowed to live because of it. It may not sound different to my other posts because…
Fingers Crossed
Hey me, I am actually annoyed at me right now. Why do I always feel like a failure when things are starting to change? Why do I always feel like the worst person? Why do I always think I am not enough? Is it because I haven’t proven myself to be enough yet? I don’t…
Being honest.
Hey me, The good thing about living my whole life sabotaging myself? I know how to sabotage things without being the one who looks guilty. But did I really sabotage this, or did I just make a decision and it turned in my favour? But then again, if I start something with an expectation, it…
What’s Next
Hey me, So… I met someone… There goes the “40 Years” plan… I’m used to overthinking it. Usually I try to figure out if this person is my person, and if we will be together forever, and if I’d want to marry him. This time it’s different. I am able to hold myself in the…
Three Days Later
Hey me, I promised that I would come back after three days to process what’s going on. To see why I feel like a failure and why I feel so negative about life… I also want to find out why I’m eating more again. I said that my blog will probably become less about processing…
The End?
Hey Me, I feel like the content of my blog might change soon… I feel like the more I step into the life I have created for myself, the less it will be about processing emotions and more about living my first life. I will probably share my journey but I feel like I don’t…
The Edge
Hey Me, I talked about standing at a cliff and looking away from it in my last post, to see the landscape instead. Am I looking back to see that it’s safe? Am I letting old feelings resurface to check if they are true? To let my old strategy resurface to see if it’s still…
Three Days
Hey me, It’s still kinda weird to write the greeting like that… It would also feel weird to greet “you”. Just “Hey” doesn’t feel right either… Maybe I’m still in this in-between of getting used to the new and letting go of the old? That would also explain the way I feel at the moment.…
I Survived
who do I even greet now that it’s just me? Hey me? Let’s try that: Hey me, feels weird to just be talking to myself but it is what it is. The title says it all really… I survived. I read that sentence while exchanging thoughts (if you can call it that) with AI. I…
Last Good-Bye
Hey you, I feel like you are preparing to leave. I feel like we are about to say goodbye. I know that there is no need for you to stay anymore. There is no need for you to fight for me anymore, no need for you to show me what I used to enjoy, and…
The War is Over
Hey you, I think the last post was a bit more on the funny side of things but I have to admit, that I don’t feel comfortable writing or talking about my feelings in that way, when they are to be actually taken seriously. I feel like I used to use humour a lot to…
Annoying Me
Hey you, I want to get annoyed. I want to throw a little tantrum and roll around on the floor because I didn’t get the crisps that I wanted. I want to ball my fists and pout like there is no tomorrow… and you know what? I can do that! You know what truly annoys…
Funny
Hey you, I have never really written anything that is funny. I think that is an absolute shame because you can be so hilarious! You crack people up just by being yourself. You make people laugh without even trying. Yet you only really show that deeply reflected person here. You only really show that side…
What does it mean?
Hey you, I feel abandoned. I want to say it’s because of the “40-Year-Rule” but I think it’s deeper… I know that when you say that we will start looking for a husband in 40 years, you don’t mean that we will only allow ourselves to have a husband in 40 years’ time. I know…
40 Years
Hey you, I used the last posts to build myself up because I was feeling very down. I felt down because of the topic “relationship”. In my last post I talked about letting go of the things that I identified with to give me worth and “girlfriend” was one of those things that I have…
Awe-Inspiring
Hey you, I am actually really proud of where we are. It seems like you are building true friendships with people you can rely on and trust. And the most beautiful part is that you are not shutting them out, changing yourself for them, or keeping a distance. You are meeting people who have boundaries…
Yes, No, Maybe
Hey you, I have to admit that I am actually a little annoyed at you/me/us. You made such a big deal about healing those wounds of dating and relationships. You made such a big deal about who it is that we want to be with and how he should be. Just for you to turn…
Discombobulated
Hey you, You asked me a lot of accusing questions a few days ago. You also said that you needed to feel that for a while, so I let you. I am noticing, however, that those questions about your love life are also starting to affect other parts of life, so I wanted to respond…
Amidst the Storm
Hey you, I am frustrated right now because I feel like the perfect partner is never going to find me and I am just wasting time on everything. I feel like everything I do is useless because it hasn’t led me to him yet. Why am I even bothering? Why am I even trying? It’s…
Now and Then
Hey you, I feel like we need to compare ourselves today. I feel like we need to remind ourselves how far we’ve come. So, let’s compare ourselves to this time last year. Last year, we started a job that we really wanted to do because we hoped it would fulfil us and give us what…
Seeing Me
Hey you, In my last letter to you, I asked you a few questions and you told me that the reason why you don’t want a relationship right now is because you don’t feel like you are enough. I would like to dig a little deeper if that’s ok with you. Right now, I just…
Starting again
Hey you, I just realised that I haven’t posted anything or talked to you in two weeks. I am truly sorry about that. There have been a lot of changes these last two weeks, and I didn’t really feel a need to post. I use this platform to help me think through things and to…
New Era
Hey you, We finally did it! We didn’t just write but also published our first book! I am so proud of you! You are truly starting to live the life that you want, and you’re not sabotaging it like you used to! You don’t make rash decisions anymore just because you think you have to…
Breaking
Hey you, It feels like today is the day for hopes and dreams to die. You wanted to get emotional… so here it is. Today is the day that we are starting to truly let go of all the hopes and dreams that have brought us to this point. I am so grateful for these…
My Path to Healing
Hey you, I did it! I finally went to Scotland! I finally went to the place that I have been dreaming about for years. For decades! I went and fulfilled my dream of walking along the edge of a cliff next to the sea. Not only that, but I also saw the most beautiful scenery…
Delusions
Hey you, I realised that we have been deluding ourselves for a long time, and I think I am starting to see where we ignored the actual truth in order to stay in our own truth. I’ve been thinking about my teenage years a little these past few months because I want to heal you,…
Infuriating
Hey you, I had an interesting experience today. I went for a walk and during this walk I felt anxious and a bit empty. I was literally walking back home when I had the thought: “I feel like I did when I was depressed. I feel empty.” But as soon as I walked through the…
Sarah Smith’s Path to Healing 